I am getting really, *really* tired of people who say "I don't like labels." Or, as I like to call them, "anti-labelers".
A label--in this context, anyway--is a word. A simple, shortened description of someone's beliefs for the purpose of classification. It's a form of respect to the listener's attention span, one might even say. If you were to say, "I like having sex with men, but I also like having sex with women," what actual difference is there between that and "I'm bisexual"? I suggest that the only real difference is that the former is a longer sentence. Is the label really the problem here?
One label I proudly wear is "atheist". It doesn't mean that I share entirely identical beliefs with all other atheists, it simply means that we share *some* identical beliefs regarding religion. Some atheists believe that there is definitely no god. Some believe it is merely very unlikely. Some believe that religion is evil; others believe it is worthless, others believe it is in fact downright useful and merely incorrect. These are some really basic splits within the atheist movement, and that's fine--all of those people can still be described as "atheist". I do not agree with all atheists on everything. I am still an atheist.
But I'm also a "nerd". And I'm also a "musician". And a "programmer". The list of labels that describe me is near endless. And I'm certain that one label that doesn't describe me in this respect is "unique".
A label is a word. It isn't a limit. It isn't a restriction, it's simply a set of characteristics that are evoked by usage of the word. I grant you that those characteristics may not be the same in everyone's ear--"bisexual" means "promiscuous" to a lot of people, particularly when applied to a woman. Is that the fault of the bisexual community? Is that the fault of the individual bisexual person using the label? Of course not--that is due to the ignorance of the person hearing the label.
I humbly suggest that the solution to ignorance is education rather than pretending the label doesn't exist--because unless you want to silence the world around you there really is no other option. You will be labeled. It is unavoidable. And it doesn't only happen to people outside the mainstream--"White". "Male". I'm both of those labels, and oh boy do they ever come with some negative connotations; especially with those I respect.
Proving yourself different from the label is challenging, but the problem here is not the label. It's the generalization. It's ignorance and a blind eye to diversity within the group. I'm a white male, and people will expect me to be somewhat sexist, racist, and privileged. It's up to me to demonstrate that I'm not like that stereotype; and hopefully by my example people will see cracks in the stereotype.
I'm not arguing that any of this is okay, mind you. I'm not trying to sell a version of "how you should behave" or anything. I'm saying that this is how communication works, and pretending that you can brush aside the labels of others with "I don't like to label myself" doesn't help anybody else. Or yourself, for that matter. If you have sex with people of both genders and say "I don't like to label myself a bisexual", it doesn't strike a blow against labeling. You just get an additional label: "in denial".
A label--in this context, anyway--is a word. A simple, shortened description of someone's beliefs for the purpose of classification. It's a form of respect to the listener's attention span, one might even say. If you were to say, "I like having sex with men, but I also like having sex with women," what actual difference is there between that and "I'm bisexual"? I suggest that the only real difference is that the former is a longer sentence. Is the label really the problem here?
One label I proudly wear is "atheist". It doesn't mean that I share entirely identical beliefs with all other atheists, it simply means that we share *some* identical beliefs regarding religion. Some atheists believe that there is definitely no god. Some believe it is merely very unlikely. Some believe that religion is evil; others believe it is worthless, others believe it is in fact downright useful and merely incorrect. These are some really basic splits within the atheist movement, and that's fine--all of those people can still be described as "atheist". I do not agree with all atheists on everything. I am still an atheist.
But I'm also a "nerd". And I'm also a "musician". And a "programmer". The list of labels that describe me is near endless. And I'm certain that one label that doesn't describe me in this respect is "unique".
A label is a word. It isn't a limit. It isn't a restriction, it's simply a set of characteristics that are evoked by usage of the word. I grant you that those characteristics may not be the same in everyone's ear--"bisexual" means "promiscuous" to a lot of people, particularly when applied to a woman. Is that the fault of the bisexual community? Is that the fault of the individual bisexual person using the label? Of course not--that is due to the ignorance of the person hearing the label.
I humbly suggest that the solution to ignorance is education rather than pretending the label doesn't exist--because unless you want to silence the world around you there really is no other option. You will be labeled. It is unavoidable. And it doesn't only happen to people outside the mainstream--"White". "Male". I'm both of those labels, and oh boy do they ever come with some negative connotations; especially with those I respect.
Proving yourself different from the label is challenging, but the problem here is not the label. It's the generalization. It's ignorance and a blind eye to diversity within the group. I'm a white male, and people will expect me to be somewhat sexist, racist, and privileged. It's up to me to demonstrate that I'm not like that stereotype; and hopefully by my example people will see cracks in the stereotype.
I'm not arguing that any of this is okay, mind you. I'm not trying to sell a version of "how you should behave" or anything. I'm saying that this is how communication works, and pretending that you can brush aside the labels of others with "I don't like to label myself" doesn't help anybody else. Or yourself, for that matter. If you have sex with people of both genders and say "I don't like to label myself a bisexual", it doesn't strike a blow against labeling. You just get an additional label: "in denial".
