international man of misery

Okay, not misery; I have just always wanted to make that pun.

My final leg of the flight is just about done; I have been traveling for 25 hours but thanks to the magic of time zones it is two days later.

Here are some things I've learned about international travel:

Airline food is far, far better than 1990's stand up comedians would have you believe.  Somewhere along the road it made the titanic leap from "inedible" to "acceptable".  Bread products are still generally stale though--don't even bother unwrapping the muffin.

Dress comfortably.  I see people traveling in three-piece suits all the time.  I wouldn't do it unless I had no choice--if you're going to be in an airplane for a few hours, sweats or even pajamas are the way to go.  I also recommend sandals so it's easier to get through security. 

In airports, English is king. Almost everyone speaks English. The only exceptions are men with mustaches but no beards--these guys are not gonna help much.  If you speak slowly and aren't reading this article through a translator then you'll probably be fine as long as you don't venture too far outside the urban areas.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't bother with the local language.  Bad local language beats "I don't give a shit" any time.  Ultimately it's all about respect; and nothing says "I respect your culture" like learning some language basics.  Do some research and your trip will be a lot more rewarding.  The most important thing you can learn to say, though, is "I'm sorry".  People are, by and large, very forgiving of rudeness when it comes from good intentions.  Come to think of it, that's just good old fashioned life lessons.

If someone is trying to get in your face to sell you something, the answer is always a polite no.  Taxi drivers are notorious for this; the less developed a country, the more pushy the taxi drivers are and the more they will try to overcharge you.  I expect that if you visit a truly undeveloped country they probably force you to get into a vehicle at gunpoint, and only release you if you give them all your money.  Come to think of it, that's probably just good old fashioned kidnapping.

airplanes

I am currently sitting in a steel tube that has intentions of going halfway around the planet.  If you Google "airplane", the first batch of hits all refer to the classic cheerfully-stupid Leslie Nielsen movie. Let's hope life doesn't imitate art.

That said--one of the things I like most about my job is that I occasionally get to do this.  That is to say, hop in an airplane and jet off to England or India or Malaysia. And since the rest of the time I work from home, it feels like the complete opposite of a typical office job.

I am an optimistic guy, so I have high hopes that eventually most desk jobs will be done from home.  The only thing I don't really like about it is that it is nigh-upon-impossible to *not* work overtime. 

At least, for me it is--I have this pesky habit of needing a clean slate at the end of the day. You would think that was a good habit to be in, but no, not with a home office. You perpetually feel like an irresponsible employee on your off hours--the desk sits and stares at you like a fat man in a sauna, maintaining eye contact awkwardly.

But for now the desk is a memory; instead it is 35,000 feet and a single-serving bourbon.

firsties

Man, fuck a blank page.  I haven't sat down to write anything expositional in months and this is how I have to start?

Okay, fine, fine, I can handle this.  It's a new blog, so let's do a little introduction thing on who I am, right?  That's how you're supposed to do a first post.

First: I'm not actually that #oldasfukk, I'm only 32.  But in Internet years, that's definitely old.  And I have two kids?  Yeah, I'm old all right.  I mean, one kid you can write off as a broken condom but two?  And with your wife?  Wait, you even have a wife?  Undeniably old.  I did the math.  I lost my virginity over a decade ago?  Crap.  O-L-D, old.  Not elderly, but definitely old.  And I'm okay with that, really--I can handle being on the old end of things, shaking my cane at kids who won't stay off my digital lawn.

I'm interested in a lot of stuff.  I sat here thinking about doing an entry with bullet points about all of the things I'm interested in but I figure you'll learn more about the things that define me as I actually write entries.  That's all I'm willing to commit to at this point--that I'm going to actually write.

I'm starting this blog... ugh.  I hate that word, "blog".  Anyway--I'm starting this blog because I really want to spend more time producing content and less time consuming it.  I almost said "need to", but the difference between needs and wants is important to remember.  Many people live lives rich in consumption and light in production.  I don't want to be one of those guys.  Part of aging means thinking about your legacy, and I think a hefty sheaf of writing seems like a start.

I guess I'm primarily doing this because I'd like for my daughters to be able to go back and read up about their dad when they get a little more grown up.  That this blog is public is really more so that it'll be harder for me to get lazy (I hope).  It's really important that my kids get the chance to know me when I was... well, not "before I was old", because it's probably too late for that.  But "when I was less old"?  Sure, that'll do.